A lonely calling…
You’ve probably heard it said that mothers weren’t meant to raise their children alone. You’ve probably heard about the mothers who have come before us raising their children in community. Generations of mothers sharing wisdom, sharing stories and struggles. Mothers coming together to help raise the next generation while being a support system to one another on one of the greatest callings a woman can have in her lifetime.
But knowing this can make motherhood feel so much more lonely.
In my experience, and I imagine I’m not alone, I have felt more alone since becoming a mother than I have ever been. For most of my time as a mother I have had the honor of being a stay at home mom. Being able to stay at home with my kids has been important to my husband and I and we’ve been ‘sacrifices’ to accomplish this goal but I’ve been pretty lonely for the past twelve years if I’m being honest. But I haven’t always wanted to be around others and I realize now that that is a problem.
How to fix it…?
Throughout my time as a mom I’ve gone through plenty of life changes, emotionally trying times, and joyfully abundant times. Here’s what I’ve noticed, when I’m in a low place I want to isolate and when I’m on a mountain top I want to be in community. Mind-blowing, I know. But what if I told you it doesn’t matter how you personally feel when it comes to making the time and exerting the energy to be with people.
When I’ve been in the ditches where every day, every breath feels like climbing out of a bed of quick sand just the thought of ‘entertaining’ others felt like a burden, however that’s when I needed people the most. But community isn’t built when we’re in the pit needing someone to come beside us to help dig us out it’s also during the good times when we can get to know people or have more of a bandwidth to share emotional struggles with someone else.
But what would happen if I put my feelings aside, happy/sad/drained/jubilant, and just built a community anyway. What if I’m selfishly with holding my wisdom, my help, my company from someone who needs me because I’m an introvert? What if I just put others before myself?
These are just a couple things I’ve come up with for myself and maybe you could try as well or make your own short list of ways to build up your friends or create a community if you don’t have one.
- Invite people to my house. Period.
- Find women who are before and behind me in life that I admire and put myself in their sphere.
- Give women more compassion.
These are specific to me and my personal tendencies but maybe you could benefit from implementing some simple, achievable goals when it comes to this area.
Back when women had a larger community they didn’t have our modern day conveniences that keep us secluded like our vehicles that take us from from family, our phones that keeps our minds in a place far from reality, and our perfectly curated and warm homes that keep us cozy inside. Let’s push ourselves outside of our comfort zones and into a more natural life filled with friendship and community.
The Millennial Mom 
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